


same sky

by justK



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: I really don't know what this is, Letter, M/M, Not Betaed, bear with me pls, but i put them anyways, it's a drabble?, nothing special, since it's a letter, there are two more pairings that i won't write here, there aren't really any members appearance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:54:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27465997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justK/pseuds/justK
Summary: so, do people with wrong timing ever get a second chance?
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten
Kudos: 11





	same sky

**Author's Note:**

> not a native english speaker, i apologise for any mistake i may have.

_ Ten: _

i don't think i'd ever find the words to fully convey what i really want to tell you, nor i think this letter could answer all your questions. but that's not what i want, anyway, our time has passed and i just want some closure, as much as i can manage to get through this pathetic attempt. 

first, i really want to tell you that i wish you're doing okay, not that i would get to hear it, at least not from you, but as long as you are  _ truly _ alright, wherever you are, it'd suffice. 

i've never wanted anything else than your happiness and i guess you know that by now. that's why i did what i did. it was never my intention to hurt you, not the same way you hurt me. 

you know, back then i was  _ so _ happy, i was probably blinded, thus, i could never see what was happening around me. but it's just… you made me  _ that _ happy: your antics, your jokes, your habits, your voice, your laugh. just  _ you _ . all of you. 

i never really got a chance to tell you all that laid within me, to worship you the way i burnt to. i tried, though, not even once anything i showed you lacked veracity, but i know i could have given even more, i had so much to give, i just didn't know how to convey it, and it was precisely way  _ too _ much, that it led me to think it was better off that way. i think it was, at the end, because you can't imagine how much my heart ached after all of this ended, if i had given any more, it would have banished me off. 

the first time i saw you, i simply thought such pretty thing shouldn't be blessing us mortals by walking on the surface of this earth, later i came to thank whoever the creator is, because i still think i could never deserve you, but  _ god _ , aren't you the most beautiful being existing. i'm mortal, and therefore, i'm ambitious and selfish, and i couldn't care less of not being worthy of you, had i been a poor devil, worthy of you not, dangerous to the brim of war, i wouldn't have wanted you any less. 

and so, i cherished and enjoyed each and every moment with you, falling deeper for you every time, even when i thought i had reached the bottom, you just came, bright and ethereal, and looking so much like destruction itself, and i realised there was never a bottom, not when it came to you. 

i guess that's why you felt betrayed, more than anything, when i just left. well, i have to let you know, let them all know, i knew it in my heart it wasn't me who walked away first. i was blinded,  _ yes _ , by your beautiful glowing light, but i have a heart, and after a while, it started to pain and skip some beats, and it was so unbearable, i had to stop. then, alone and away from your light and warmth, was i able to see you drift away from me and it hit me, sharp and with no mercy. but i understood, for,  _ why would a dainty, unattainable, powerful creature like you, ever settle with someone mundane like me?  _

it is only fair, and i absolutely support it, for you to find someone suitable for you, someone that can match your free, untamed, and purposeful soul. 

because i know it is not me — it could never be me. 

i was infinitely happy for as long as it lasted, at least. i could have never asked for more. 

(although, now that i think about it, there is something else i would like to ask of you: do not ever stop being yourself, and that includes being happy and always free.)

so, the day i realised you hadn't fall for me the same way i had fallen for you since the very beginning, the day i realised it wasn't our time to shine, the day i realised you had found someone else… i decided against it all. i could have never kept you to myself, your freedom is the very first thing that made me fall in love with you in the first place. i decided to let you go. but you're also too good of a person, such an untainted soul, you would have never left me, in fear of breaking my heart. well, you still did, but i loved every moment of it, because it would never be any less than a pleasure to be broken by you. 

thereby, _ i walked away.  _

and i know you hated me for it, because it was never meant to be me the one to leave. 

and because, in the end, perhaps — just perhaps — you did love me more than you ever showed me, but not more than you love  _ him _ . 

he, who can make you happy in a way i could never have. 

he, who stole your heart the same way you stole mine. 

he, whom i cannot hate because he's just as good and beautiful and mighty as you; your perfect match. 

he, the only one i can trust to give you the world. 

i was once asked if people with wrong timing ever got a second chance. 

i never really thought such thing existed, not wrong timing, nor second chances. 

but now, i do believe in it. be it my dogged heart, be it reality. i don't care. i do believe i'm meant to be with you. if not now, then later. if not in this life, then in the next. 

you would've laughed at me, had i told you this face to face. i bet you're laughing at me right now. and probably you're right, i'm foolish and reckless. and i can almost taste the bitterness of your words, i'll say them because i have nothing left to lose: you're meant to be with Kun, and i'm meant to be with Johnny. 

i'll believe you. just this last time. i won't bother you again. 

just promise me you're happy. promise me he's giving you his everything, and tell me you're giving yourself to him the exact same way. promise you two touch infinity together, tell me it is heaven whenever you're with him, and sing for me to hear how in love you are. 

i promise you the same. 

Johnny is such a dream. he could never compare to you, but he's heaven for me too. 

i guess you and i weren't really meant to be part of the same sky. 

but somewhere in the universe, we will, at least, share the remnants of a past, common affection. 

i'm at peace, now. i hope you are too. 

love you always, 

Taeyong. 

... 

_ so, do people with wrong timing ever get a second chance? _

_ i now have an answer to that.  _

_ yes.  _

_ just not when they want to, and most definitely, not with whom they originally desired.  _

**Author's Note:**

> no words, really.


End file.
